Love it

I love sharing this blog with my sister.  It was great to hear about work, not that I don't talk to her you just add in extra verbage when you are writing like you are talking to everyone in the world. 

Work: interesting that you brought that up last time.  I have worked as a loan officer now longer than I have done anything else.  I really enjoy it.  Is it something that I will do forever, it will be interesting to see.  There really is nothing else that I can do with my level of education and not a lot of opportunities in this small town anyway.  So I will definately be here for awhile anyway. 

Bette White turned 90 and I watched her birthday bash on TV.  Over the course of her career she really played a horny woman a lot. She is very cheeky and I still love her. 

By the way Auntie you need to get your butt up here more often.  Your nephew was just asking about you again last night.

Ah life . . .

So, I am getting closer to have a work identity.  What's worse, is that I am realizing just how much I have let my job identify who I am over the last couple of years.  I don't mind being labeled "hard working" or "dedicated" (which I feel I am)  But to be changing positions and feel as though everything is wrong, just because its different . . . .it's strange.  On a lighter note, I am sleeping better and I have found myself laughing a lot more, which is AWESOME!!  So, what does that tell you?  Either my job was way more stressful then I thought or I was starting to not like it or I take things WAY to seriously.  (psst - I think it was all of the above)  I am not longer in charge of the "Large scale musical" but I have ramped down to take a break and do a "small show in an experimental theater".  (for those of you theater buffs, you will understand me perfectly)  And, OH MY GOSH!!  I could actually do some theater again . . .maybe. 

Lost Puppy Syndrome

Recently at my place of work, we have undergone some changes.  The boss that I had for 6 years decided that he was going to pursue other business ventures.  Good for him.  However, the terms in which he and I left it was not the greatest.  Needless to say, I am still very angry and disappointed with the entire situation. 

But, what's done is done.  Moving on.

It is interesting to me how much I have engulfed myself in my job, to the point that it decided what I wear . . . Let me explain. 

Under the new Boss, he is switching things up.  Due to the old boss being on a sabbatical, a lot of his responsibilities fell on my shoulders for that 3 months (but he still got to call the shots and get paid, go figure)  Now, there is more upper Management then I have ever dealt with.  Before it was me and the old boss.  Now I am facing yet another person to answer to before I answer to the Boss.  Responsibilities and being cut back, but hopefully not the pay :).  Job description is up in the air and no questions have been answered.  I call this the "Lost Puppy Syndrome".  It has gotten to the extent of the unknown that I don't even know what to wear in the morning.  How sad is that.  I have let this job dictate who I am to the point that I don't even know what to wear.  Not knowing my day will bring at work.  Am I going to like it? Am I going to be able to share the responsibility and not be bitter?  Am I going to step too far back and get myself in trouble?  Who knows . . . .

It really is unfortunate that I spent the last two weeks with my old boss completely feeling disrespected and angry.  I was told that the only reason I was successful at my job was because of him . . . .In my review, the terms like sluffing off were used . . . . .he was disappointed in me.  Disappointing him!?!  What do you think I was feeling about him?!?  I have never felt so angry and confused in my life.  Someone that I had trusted and worked with and for, threw me right under the bus without hesitation.  It was a hard lesson to learn, but you can't trust everyone and rarely anyone.  And those you think you can trust will almost always disappoint you or shatter your looking glass.  It was recommended by someone that I go to his new work place and make amends.  Right, sounds like a good idea, but I am in no way ready to even say hi.  I have never, ever, had anyone treat me the way that he treated me in both my work review and in our ending conversations.  The greatest part of the entire story is that he is still going to be around in an unofficial capacity for the next three weeks. AWESOME!!!  (please note the sarcasm)

I am hoping that this week will result in some answers and hopefully the rest of my wardrobe will fall into place.