At work I have some wonderful people that I get to be with every day. One of them who is the VP is really nice but she has a real problem telling people when they have done something wrong. There is no need to be nasty about it. All you need to do is ask did you do this? If so it needs to be fixed. Do you need help with that? But instead she will maybe point out directly to you that you did something wrong. Most likely she will address all the lenders saying we all are doing it wrong and then make tons of excuse for why that may have happened. Not being mean at all she just doesn't want to say it is your fault and that was a dumb move. Sometimes I feel myself fall into that making excuses even when I was just human error. It is really hard to get through to her that it was me that made the mistake and I will claim that. I am not going to make up some bullshit excuse when it was just me being stupid one day or I just entered it wrong and I will fix it. The other thing is that there are very few things that can't be fixed. It may seem like things can't be changed but other than death and someone not being in love with you that you are in love with, I can't think of any. In the world that I am raising my children we are so afraid to teach our children to take responsiblity for their actions.
Case in point, in my opinion, one of my neighbors at the age of 36 was sleeping with 15-17 year old girls. He is charged about 6 years ago. He plead kinda guilty. Meaning he would plead guilty but didn't have to say that he was but he thought there would be enough evidence to convict him. After he did that he had to register as a sex offender. He lost his job, but found another one(although it was for a business that wasn't thriving), I am sure he lost friends and so on and so on.
But he came over to our house a couple of times in the last six years. He really is a nice guy. But he doesn't think that he did anything wrong. He just could not understand what the problem was and felt that the County Attorney and the cops were out to get him. I was talking with one of his family members and she said "it isn't always the guys fault you know. Those girls would climb into his bed in the middle of the night. What was he supposed to do. He shouldn't be getting all the blame for it. Those girls should take some of the responsibility." Another family member said in the paper "I can name 20 other guys in this town that are older that are doing the same thing. I don't see why my brother is the one that they are going after." For real people. Yes there are some 15 year old girls that are very mature. But before you fuck them you need to realize that you could go to jail for it if someone got mad about it or turned you in. It is like driving drunk. You get behind the wheel of the car after having a few. You know what the law is. If you get caught own it. It is no one's fault but your own. No one is going to make you get behind the wheel of a car drunk and drive. No one, especially not some 15 year old girl should be able to make a 36 year old man have sex with them. What a load of crap.
Anyway our neighbor just couldn't seem to let it go that he had been told what he did was wrong. He felt that it was totally okay. What is okay about telling people that you only like high school girls because after they graduate they get fat! He appealled the ruling because of a technicality and was going to have a jury trial for each of the 3 girls he allegiedly had realtions with. Keep in mind he never denied having sex with them just that it was wrong. Anyway the jury of course found him guilty of the inappropriate relationship with the first girl and right after that he shot the attorney and one of the witnesses. So then of course he went to jail. But still the family seems to blame everyone else for bad decisions their son made. They are having a hard time putting together that he was a good guy. He did lots of work for elderly people and never charged them or cashed their checks. He loved animals. But he also loved teenage girls and that is just not normal. He could still be a good guy and have something wrong. Not everyone is perfect all the way through. But no one ever said Buddy you made a wrong decision and now you have to pay the consequenes but I still love you. Instead they said Everyone else is doing it so it must be okay for him to do that and there is nothing wrong with you Buddy. Everyone is just out to get you. Personally I think Everyone has better things to do that worry about how to go after one guy.
Anyway take responsibilty when you screw up. It is okay we all do it. Know that you are loved and move on. Do not waste years of your life worrying about one mistake or even a few mistakes. Correct if need be and move on. If you can't correct it, like drinking too much, maybe you have a problem. Like my Dad used to say "If there is something that you have to do, like having a drink or 10 everynight, then you might have a problem. And it isn't very fun for people around you if you get crabby because you haven't had your 5 o'clock cocktail, you really don't have to have that."
Anyway to tell the whole story or at least to this point. Buddy(not his real name of course)has been in jail for about 2 weeks. On Christmas Day he got the flu and that night was sent to the hospital and died the next morning. The whole think is tragic for the family. Hopefully this will bring it all to an end. And they won't want to drag it out. I am hearing more rumors of them filing a lawsuit because he didn't get medical attention right away according to them. Again they are saying this isn't his fault which just pisses me off. He had sex with young girls, he shot a couple of people, he went to jail. You don't get to go see a nurse whenever you want to when you are in jail. Also no one can predict the future. How is a guard who sees you throwing up supposed to know that in 5-8 hours you would be dead. Bad things happen to good people. But good people need to take responsibility when bad things happen. People won't love them any less or think less of them. I just can't stress that enough. We have other things to worry about other than our opinion of other people all the time.
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