The other side of marriage

This is my new segment called the other side of marriage.  I feel that I have a very good relationship with my husband.  We are best friends, lovers, parents and individuals.  Honestly marriage is going much better than I planned and I actually picked someone that I got along with instead of someone that I was just all horned up about.  It really bugs me however how he discusses.  Sometimes he can have a discussion and other times he gets very defensive if you bring something up.  And if there is something that I do that irritates him he will make comments but if I didn't the same things to him he would be pissed and defensive. 
It is these subtle things that you learn after you have been together for a long time.  I don't have the answer for how to fix these little pissing matches we get into and I don't know if I want to because sometimes I just am crabby like that.  I think that after you are married these subtle moments change because before you are married you think "I can just leave" or "I don't want them to leave, what can I do to/for them to make them happy and stay"  When you are married it turns into "How can I piss him off more to show him he is being totally ridiculous"  You know that neither one of you is going anywhere and you can play power games or you can just get over it and move on.  I am a big fan of the get over it and move but it is fun to toy with them a bit before you get over it!

Truly cherished moments

I don't know if my Auntie Karen realizes just how much I appreciate that the last two years she has come up here.  It is just how I dreamed vacations would be.  There is no stress (at least I don't feel any)  I am just glad to have my family up here to see them and for them to be doing things that they would like to do.  I don't feel like I have to hang out with them for the whole week.  This year we divided up and it worked great.  My Aunt and her best friend, my cousin and sister, and then my cousins daughter was with us.  I think that everyone had a great time.  Next year my uncle will be coming along.  We will see who he pairs off with for the week!  Perhaps his favorite nephew!  But the time together is great and everyone is relaxed and happy and not worrying about doing this or getting that done.  Or having to see so and so.  If it happens great and if not don't lose any sleep over it.

Couple things

Being a parent is hard being a step-parent is way harder.  I am not complaining I have a great step-daughter and we get along great.  But it is a fine line that you are always walking.  I might dive into that more later.

I have a bit of a dilema.  I have a friend that has a boyfriend that is a nice enough guy.  But early on in their relationship I had a bad feeling that I shared with my friend and I have for the most part been good about not bringing it up again.  My friend is just going to have to figure out on her own whether this is how she wants to spend the rest of her life.  Like I said he isn't a bad guy.  So another buddy had the opportunity to hang out with the boyfriend.  When the buddy got back from hanging out with my friend's boyfriend he said that all the boyfriend talked about was how much stuff he had gotten his girlfriend to buy him, the boyfriend also never paid for his lunch that day or gas and didn't offer to pitch in any money towards it.  Again it is a situation where my Buddy says he is a nice enough guy but he is using his girlfriend.

I know it gets confusing not using names, but we run into these dilemmas all the time in life and it is so frustrating trying to figure it out.  I don't want to piss off my friend but I just want to share.  I know relationships need to run their course and there is no rushing it. 

I believe that we all chose partners and they are all going to have something that is wrong with them or something that we put up with or ...something, but we love them anyway.  I think the thing that I like the least is the smoking.  I always imagined one day I would quit, but I really suck at quitting when my husband is a smoker too.  So since we have chosen to slowly fill our lungs with tar that is maybe worse then being with someone that is living off of you.

There is always a chance

"when the instructions say the marshmallows could start on fire, they mean it! "-Karli after making smores pie which she got a lot of compliments on.  First of all I am very glad that my sister is interested in cooking.  I think we could have a lot of fun with that. 

I just read her entery about wanting to have babies.  By the way I am all for her having babies and lots of them.  Here is a couple of things I think that I know for sure:

-You are never totally ready.  If you want them have them.  Otherwise you are just making excuses

-If one person wants babies and the other doesn't, don't count on trying to change the one's mind who doesn't want babies because most likely it isn't going to happen.  Been there and done that.  Lost

-It feels like forever when you are not having babies and then all of the sudden you have one and the only thing you remember about the time before having kids was sometime back in high school and then all of the sudden you are old with kids and you spend a lot of time talking about how old you are and how quick the kids are growing up.  That was one heck of a run on sentence.

-You spend a lot of time worrying about when, where, how, with who, how will I be as a parent, what is the kid(s) going to be like and it in the end you deal with what you get and you do what you can.  As they learn in preschool "you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit".

-Don't set yourself up to fail. 

-It never works out how you had it all planned out in your head.

That is about all I know today.  I hope it isn't too negative advise.

I am so glad that I have you for a sister! 

30!!

My apologize for not writing for a while.  The computer has been unplugged due to the desk being moved and the house under construction, and I can't really do any blog writing at work.  I wonder if they have an app for it :)
Life is going well, I am liking my new position at the hotel.  My crew is doing well and it gives me a good feeling when I walk away at the end of the week and for the first time in a couple years, I am able to walk away and not feel bad or worried or like I am going to get a phone call ten minutes after walking out the door.  I work four, ten hour days and sometimes Sunday's.  I have not been going in the last couple Sunday's and today I asked my immediate supervisor it that was OK?  She said it was, I pointed out that my last review, which was given to me by a jaded boss, stated that my fifty five hours a week was not enough and I wasn't dedicated.  Although this was not true, I wanted to make sure that my new supervisor was fine with my performance.  And, from what I know, she is.

Anyways, tis the season for fishing on the river and I have a wonderful boyfriend that gets my ass off of the couch and out into the woods.  It makes me realize just how out of shape I am.  He will sometimes ask my why I am all "huffy puffy" and I tell him I'm not, I'm just trying to breath.  I need to start walking the dogs more and making sure I go up at least one hill with them each time.  How pathetic!

My honey just turned 30, now he knows what I went through six months ago and coming to terms with it all.  I did have a small meltdown at his birthday and called my dad, I don't know if he could tell, but I was crying.  I was standing outside of the restaurant and asked dad if he planned on kids or if it just happened.  I don't know if you know, by my clock is ticking.  So, dad explained that him and Mom got married and she stayed on birth control for a couple of years and then they decided to have her stop taking it and let nature take its course, and then Dad asked me if I was pregnant.  I assured him I was not and then just flat out told him that I was thirty and without kids.  BOOM, instant tears.  Like I said though, I don't know if dad could tell.  I have thought a lot about it since  but I know that I need to be in a different place in my life to be even remotely ready to have children.  But, it is still on my mind.  All of my siblings had their first child when they were either turning thirty or when they were thirty and now they are all married.  I guess I am just a little behind the trend.  Oh well.

But, enough of my rambling.  I love you sis and make sure to give the little ones big hugs from me.  PS K keeps asking when my nephew gets to come for a visit, she had a blast when she came to town with me :)

Bad with dates

I am terrible with remembering dates.  I probably could remember but they are just not that important too me.  But I would like it in the record books that we grilled out on March 18, 2012 and there was no snow around the fire pit.  It was over 70 and Kaj was running around in just his underwear!  Brandi had shorts and a tank top and they were running around barefoot in the snow that had melted. 

Bacon Roses

Bacon Roses are the easiest cool looking bouquet.  It is just a little gross at the same time that it is made out of meat.  Buit Skinner loved them for Valentines and one of the girls at the bank really liked them for her birthday when I made them.